Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
