But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it's great music for shaving your balls
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
