There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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