real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
