there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
vagina is talking i cant
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize