Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
