i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize