i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
