we have pet lesbian snakes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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