I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
