wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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