Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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