how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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