Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
