Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
