She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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