My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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