I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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