dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
