Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
