Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
