No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
