somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
