She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
