I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
