Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
