Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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