You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My liver just broke up with me...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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