Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
