This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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