I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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