his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
