All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
