you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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