I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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