absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
