just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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