I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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