Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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