Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Erskie hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

Fav 15 4939 1416
share tweet
(423): View more from Tennessee

You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."

Fav 5 2969 1654
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Ontario

Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.

Fav 2 3325 1091
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...

Fav 14 1350 4730
share tweet
(623): View more from Arizona

He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...

Fav 5 3087 1065
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU

Fav 8 1382 866
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(308): View more from Nebraska

Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?

Fav 8 2180 810
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(623): View more from Arizona

There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.

Fav 2 1208 578
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.

Fav 0 39 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT