I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
