the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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