Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
