How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
