6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
