OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
