Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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