pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
