I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
