is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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