Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I can't turn off my feet"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
