no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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