How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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