Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
