Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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