Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
