there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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