so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
