your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize