He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
