My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
