Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
