Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize