butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
