matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
