In the future we'll all be gay
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
