the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
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