Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
