i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
