you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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