Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
