I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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