So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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