Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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